Holding Back.

Last December I met who I thought was one of the most amazing guys that had even come into my life. We were introduced by a friend and we just really clicked. He was what seemed to be a great guy, but all that changed last summer. By the time summer came around we had been talking for 9 months and everything was perfect.  Well heres the twist. NOTHING IS PERFECT!  When summer came along he started hanging out with a new group of guys who are not the best people in the world. He started drinking, smoking etc. to be "cool" like them.  He went from this awesome guy who I loved to be with to some guy who I didn't even know anymore.  We were constantly fighting and we couldn't be with each other for more than an hour.  Things kept going downhill so we both decided it was best to end everything and just be friends. Well we all know what "lets just be friends" means. We didn't speak to each other for months we avoided each other as much as possible and couldn't even make eye contact.  After the months of avoiding each other passed he apologized for everything that he had ever done and asked for another chance. Well me being as dumb as I am accepted his apology and decided to give him another chance. Bad idea. He told me he was done with drinking and everything else that he had gotten himself into and that he was ready to pick up back where we left off make it work and get close to God again. This was all just an act that lasted for about two months. Once again things were back to the way they were before and we ended it again. This time we stayed friends and still hung out together. I know this is going to sound really dumb and all but to this day I'm still not over him. No matter how many times hes hurt me I still care so much about him. Since all this has happend  I have been holding myself back and I have missed out on some pretty great oppurtunities.  I guess since I have been hurt so many times by him I'm scared to start "talking" to another guy because I don't want to be hurt again. Stupid right?