HELP!

Okay so here we go... This past weekend me and a few friends went to a bonfire that one of kids at our school was having. There was about five sober people there so it wasn't that great. My friend and I were walking around talking to everyone and I started talking to this one guy who I have had some sort of crush on for a little bit now. We talked for about twenty minutes and we really connected. My friends and I decided to leave since there was nothing eventful happening. We had just pulled out of the drive way to leave when I got a text from the guy that said "Hey!:)" we talked all night till about 3 a.m. until I fell asleep and the next morning he text me when he woke up and we talked all day. Things were going really smoothly and we were really getting along.  The next day was Monday and we say each other across the hall he decided to be cute and yell "HEY!" and smile really big. It was REALLY cute :D.. anyways we talked after school on Monday. So everything seems to be going really good. Right? Well thats the catch. You see this guy is really cute and sweet and all together he seems perfect. But there is this other guy who I have really like since last year. We have talked off and on a few times but it has never gone anywhere... I still have some feelings for him, but I honestly don't see it going anywhere. For some reason though I just can't let go because I feel like maybe one day it will go somewhere. Which is holding me back from having feeling for the other guy. So I guess you could say I'm really confused and I need help. Well you are right. I don't know what to do. The other night I cried over the guy who I still really like. First off I NEVER cry especially over a guy. It was really weird. I don't know what hit me, but I think over time I will get over it and maybe I will be able to have feelings for someone else. In the mean time I'm gonna try to talk to this other guy and maybe talking to him will help me get my mind off the other one. Who knows maybe something good will turn out of this. 

Just remember. Everything happens for a reason and god has a plan for everyone.

Update

Hey guys, welcome to our first international post :) Im in Germany, its late here but only the afternoon in Arkansas. Everyones asleep but me, and I felt like giving you guys an update on the situation with New Guy and my Ex-Boyfriend, because a lot has happened in the past few weeks!

New Guy and I are not Facebook official, but were a couple. I just feel like my relationship with Zach was so public that in addition to having to deal with the breakup on my terms, I had to deal with it on everyone elses, and I just dont want to have to deal with that again. I feel like the more people you bring into a relationship, the less true it becomes. I know this is strange coming from the girl who blogs her life story, but at least this is somewhat anonymous, and it serves a purpose other than to entertain.

ANYWAY. Hes incredible. I really feel lucky that such an incredible, good person landed in my life when I needed someone most. Hes thoughtful, and sweet, and does all the little things that could make a girl giggle for hours. Hes inexperienced as far as relationships are concerned, but hes not naive, and hes completely genuine. I feel like even if we were to break up, we would still be friends, and thats a very comforting feeling to have. You would think that I would be able to get over how incredibly beautiful he is, but I really am taken aback every time I see him. Its a sweet kind of surprise :)

His friends are great and Im worried that Im taking him away from them too much. Its hard to figure out how much is a good balance. Theres another thing to balance, in addition to friends and family. Boyfriends. Its tough. Hopefully this week hell have some time with them so that I can snuggle with him when he gets back for like a week straight. Thats all I want.

Weve talked about what well do when I go to college, if were still together, and its really not something I want to think about, but I think were just going to let this year be the best year ever and let what happens happen. You cant stretch your luck. I just want to have fun, live life, and be happy. Not too much to ask, right?

I talk to Zach once a week maybe. Funny how you always say youll stay friends, isnt it? I miss him as a person. I know hes doing what he wants to be doing though, and thats all that matters. I think hes happy. Im happy. It works out.

Crazy love,
Maja

Friends v Family: Finding the Balance

Lately I've gotten into the most amazing group of friends. They love each other. I love them. Secretly, they love me back :] They hang out a lot after school. Actually, they're rarely not together. I'm not really used to that, because I've always just had one boyfriend that took up my social time. Of course, now that I've finally had time for a healthy social life, I've seen my parents less and less and they've become more.. parenty. Whereas before we had more of a peaceful coexistance, now it's becoming more of a hierarchy. I have a curfew. My mom threatened to ground me, which is like, crazy. That never happens. It makes me feel bad for spending so much time with my friends. It's really becoming more and more difficult to balance friends and family, which I think is a problem a lot of people our age face.

So what do you do? I think the best way to make sure no one's feelings are hurt is to schedule nights ahead of time so you get a good balance of family and friends. Make a plan with your parents: Holidays are always family, friend's birthdays are always with friends. Have one night a week that you hang out with friends. For me, that's Wings on Wednesdays. My parents know not to expect me for dinner on Wednesdays, and their feelings don't get hurt. Sundays are always family days, so we go to church and eat and whatnot. I have youth on Sundays so I get to see my friends a little. Try to eat dinner at home as much as possible. It's the one time your family can sit down together and learn about each other that isn't forced. That way you can avoid awkward family activities. Being a senior has made me realize how precious time is. This is my last year with my parents, but also my last year with all my high school friends. It's so important to make both happy and not let anyone down. Be sure to take time for yourself too though, and that you spend your time with good people. Don't go to college saying you wish you'd spent more time with someone, or gotten to know someone better. Do it while you can, and enjoy every second. You won't regret good times, promise :]

My Friends

Its simple. My friends are amazing. NO words could describe how much I love them. There simply amazing.

Myself being a social guy, I have a ton of  "friends". But I can honestly say, there are 4-6 of them I can trust with anything. I can tell them anything and they listen and understand. They are my bestfriends.

Before this year, I had a great friend.. He was kind of new, but by the end of 10th grade we were super close. I told him everything. He told me everything. As summer progressed our relationship as friends grew closer and closer. Then... He gets this girlfriend. Dont get me wrong, shes cool and cares for him deeply, but he started to drift away from me. And by 11th grade I dont even consider him a "good friend" of mine anymore.. This is why. He became clingy to this girl. He only wanted to spend time with her. I always tried to ask to hang out with him, but he always had an excuse to hang out with her.. Then my friend, this friend i loved, fell under the power of peer pressure. He started having sex with this girl.. I tried to tell him to do right not wrong, but it only ended up in bad words and bruises.. Then he tried cigerettes and cigars... and finally.. on to weed. I was absolutely devastated.. I want to help him.. But I dont know how.. He refuses.. Refuses to change. I now consider him..  A bad influence.

Now, one of my bestest friends, one that means so much to me, gets a girl.. And I was stoked for him!! He's kind of a shy guy, so him getting a girlfriend is perfect! Shes an amazing person and friend of mine, I love her! There always happy when there together and I know they are perfect for each other. But there is only one flaw.. He kind of left us.. Hes hanging lout with her so much, hes fading away from our group of friends. He told us to tell him when he starts to ditch us for her, but I dont want to be mean.. I think they are just hanging out so much because there kind of "new".. I hope thats why. I dont really want him to become super clingy to her, but if he does its okay.. Its his choice.

I just want all my friends back. Back to the old days were peer pressure didnt matter much. Were parties didnt happen.. Because I cant do much.. All i can do is sit back and watch. And hope.

WiZ..

Breaking News

There have two situations recently that, as a friend, have put me in a bit of a pickle.

First: I have a best girl friend and a best guy friend. The girl has a boyfriend in college a few hours away. The guy is single. We've always been a trio, and he's kind of both of our husband. We fight like married people, we share money, etc. Anyway, since her boyfriend is in college and can't come home for every weekend, they've gone to a few dances together and the most recent one created a bit of a situation. All of a sudden, after nearly a decade of friendship, he likes her. Well actually, by the way he's been acting, you'd think he was about to propose. As both his and her best friend, this is super awkward. I know that she's not into him like that, and having been in a similar situation, I understand her frustration. She doesn't want to lead him on, so she's been acting especially harsh towards him. Maybe I should tell you what happened at the dance first:

They went out to eat. They danced. Closer, closer. Everybody wants somebody to get close to. He got confused. He got ideas. It happens. After the dance everyone came to my house to continue dancing. Sooo since she was afraid he was getting a little TOO into it, she started dancing with other people. He sat in the corner and moped. The night was great, but ended sourly. The next morning he texted me about how he couldn't take it anymore. See, they also work together (and have the same schedule). Awkward.

Anyway, he likes her now, and he doesn't know when to break it to her. I don't know if he's thinking that she will magically decide that she's in love with him and break up with her boyfriend of a year, or what, but I am stuck between them and I don't know what to do. She's not going to do anything but ignore him until he stops acting mopey. He's not going to stop acting mopey until... I don't know when. I just want them to stop. He's mopey. She's pissy. It's not working out. I want the trio back, but I'm afraid feelings are getting in the way of that. I halfway wish she liked him back, but that would ruin the trio too. See, if she and her boyfriend were to break up, it would be a very long time before she would be able to date anyone. I still am dealing with the effects of not finishing one thing and starting another. It makes you very unstable. But then again... I'm falling for him, and I don't see anything wrong with finally being happy again. He likes me too. It's working, somehow. I think we're the exception though. Most people can't put emotion away like I can. I guess I've felt too much in the past month to really tell how I feel about any one thing. I know I like New Guy. That's about it.


I'll tell about the next situation tomorrow.

Sadie Hawkins

Tonight's Sadie Hawkins. I'm going with New Guy, and I'm pretty excited :] Neither of us knows what to wear. Our asst principal got on the intercom today saying we weren't allowed to dress like "something on the side of the road", so I guess my booty shorts are out! Some tips on keeping it classy in typically skanky situations...

Instead of the typical booty shorts, cowboy boots, long-sleeved plaid shirt tied up with nothing underneath thing (you'd freeze anyways), try these cute outfits:
1
A country inspired dress:
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=80&startValue=1&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=19429976&parentid=W_APP_DRESSES&sortProperties=+subCategoryPosition,+product.marketingPriority&navCount=81&navAction=jump&color=&pushId=W_APP_DRESSES&popId=WOMENS&prepushId=&selectedProductSize=

Simple tights:
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=80&startValue=1&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=15148893&parentid=W_ACC_LEGGINGSANDTIGHTS&sortProperties=+subCategoryPosition,+product.marketingPriority&navCount=810&navAction=poppushpush&color=&pushId=W_ACC_LEGGINGSANDTIGHTS&popId=WOMENS_ACCESSORIES&prepushId=&selectedProductSize=

And of course, cowboy boots:
http://www.dillards.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=301&langId=-1&storeId=301&productId=501687968&N=1000892+4000045&rr=false&splashlink=trend1111010&searchUrl=%2Fendeca%2FEndecaStartServlet%3FN%3D1000892%2B4000045%26rr%3Dfalse%26splashlink%3Dtrend1111010&R=02934135


2
Or you can do the shirt thing, but make it oversized and keep it down. To show just enough tummy, wear a short tank top underneath and keep the shirt unbuttoned:
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=19516210&navAction=jump&isProduct=true&parentid=MORE%20IDEAS&isProduct=true&cross-sell=true&guide-bn=true

Add some jean shorts, but wear tights underneath and wear your cowboy boots! Done.


3
I also kind like this look Miley did in some photo shoot. Instead of a racer jacket like hers though, try a cropped leather jacket to make it look tougher.
http://www.celebful.com/photos/miley-cyrus/miley-cyrus-11845-medium.jpg


Either way, have fun tonight and keep it classy!
Love,
M

Change

Have you ever heard people say that " A persons true characteristics come out in high school?" Well as much as you don't want to believe them they are right.. Whether its changing in general or changing because they are in a relationship. It sucks. About a month ago my best guy friend lets call him Nick decided that he was "madly in love" with a girl who was 4 years younger than him. Don't get me wrong I wanted him to be happy and if that meant dating her then I was fine with that.  They had been dating for about a week now and they "loved" each other. By this time he had stopped talking to all of his friends and the only person he talked to was her. He started getting back into drinking and drugs and doing stupid stuff to impress her. He is probably one the smartest people I know he graduated top of his class and scored a 33 the first time he took his ACT in the tenth grade. He once had a full ride to ASU and lost it because he had an addiction that he got control of and now it is back. He has now completely forgotten about all the friends he ever had and is completely wrapped up in this young childs life! People that were once his best friends are now completely out of his life and are lucky if they talk to him once a month.  The people that he once told everything have been forgotten and the ones who just wanted to get drunk or high with him all the time have suddenly become his "best friends." He was once the guy I could go to for anything and always get the best advice and not have to worry about being judged about the situation.  Now I'm lucky if I can have a two minute conversation with him about how he has been doing..
I guess I'm hoping that one of these days he will realize he is throwing away everything that he once had and everything that he could achieve if he would get out of all the drugs and alcohol, but as much as I hate to say this I don't think it will happen with her in the picture.

New Taylor Swift Album

Everyone

just listen and learn. If you don't love her already... you'll end up crying cuddling up to your Taylor Swift Barbie. I promise.

Love,
M

Unless You're Adam and Eve... There Really is No Need

I know this seems like my latest obsession, and honestly, it is. Who told everyone that having sex is no big deal? And why haven't they been stopped? People, we are in no desperate need to reproduce.. or grow up. There is appeal to sex, obviously. It was designed to be exhilerating and intimate and exciting. I went to a church camp two years ago and the guest speaker gave a talk that changed my entire perspective on this.

He explained it like this: There are several factors to a relationship: Spirtual, mental, emotional, friends, family, and yes, physical. I'll define each better below. Each factor is put on a scale from one to ten, based on intensity. For example, for spiritual, a 1 would be the fact that you and your boy are both Christians. A 5 would be going to the same youth group, and a 10 would be being each other's spiritual confidantes, praying together, and going to each other for spiritual advice. For physical, a 1 would be holding hands, a 5 would be heavy making out, and 10 would be having sex. In order for the relationship to be healthy, all the numbers need to be the same. If you're not even sure if your boy believes in God (0), and you're having sex (10), you're not off to a very good start.

So basically, if you're having sex, you should also:
Spiritual: Basically be the same person, hopefully be married, and trust in each other for everything spiritual

Mental: Have pretty dang similar academic ambitions, IQs, etc. If you're applying to Harvard, and he hasn't even thought about college yet, you'll always end up shorting yourself.

Emotional: There should be a ring involved, generally speaking. You should not only be on the same page, but the same paragraph as far as your relationship is concerned. You should be getting married if you aren't already.

Friends: Your best friends are his best friends. If you are this close, you should look for the same qualities in friends. Of course, sometimes personalities just don't match, but if you hate every one of them because they are disgusting pigs, you aren't ready.

Family: They don't have to invite him to Thanksgiving. He's bringing the turkey.

I'm just trying to get this whole morality thing straight. It's been driving me crazy lately. I feel like I'm becoming too parenty in these blogs, I just really want the madness to stop.

Love for real,
Maja

Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

It's come up recently that I cannot be friends with a guy without having had a crush on him first. This isn't breaking news, by any means. I was talking to New Guy about this, asking who he's had a crush on, and he said he's had a crush on anyone he's ever met. Makes sense, right? The newness and shinyness of a person may disappear immediately, or it may stay forever, or for a few months (typical high school shinyness, we kind of have ADD). Regardless, it's there. You want to impress everyone you meet; you flash your most colorful feathers and hope to get a second glance, just for the sake of boosting your ego for that moment.

However, most of the time new friendships with members of the opposite sex generate temporary flirting and/or crushes, until you get into the swing of friendship (and/or realize they have body odor... or a girlfriend). This is not a problem unless you a) are not ready/looking for a relationship b) are not actually that serious about liking this person, you're just kinda flirting, or c) you or the other person are already in a relationship.

Let's deal with the consequences of each separately:
a) You are not ready/looking for a relationship
- This is tricky. Say you're like me and just broke off ties with your boyfriend of a year. You need to give yourself time to grieve, whether you think you need it or not. Jumping into something new (i.e. my situation with new guy) will only leave you in twice the pickle as before- not only are you cutting off loose ends with your ex, but you are also learning to enjoy the company of someone else without feeling guilty. It's possible, but highly unlikely that a healthy new relationship will come out of this. The poor new guy is your rebound, and you may be looking at him through drunk goggles because of your vulnerable state. I know plenty of girls who have gone from ending bad relationships to starting worse new ones with guys who don't deserve them. Luckily my New Guy is not interested in a relationship as much as he is friendship for now, but I'm dreading the day that he decides he wants us to be official, and I'm still not ready.

b) You are not actually serious about liking this person, you're just flirting.
- This is what they call leading guys on, and is not good for anyone. Here's how it works: Girl meets boy. Boy becomes girl's "buddy", helps her with her homework or whatever. They hang out alone. Guy decides he's in love. Guy professes his love over text message. Girl feels extremely guilty, because she probably has a crush on some other taller, more muscular dude. Guy gets offended and does that puppy dog face at the girl for the next two years of high school. I'm ashamed to say how many times this has happened to me... Oops. Luckily the good ones and I have made amends and the bad ones (who were after one thing, as dads say), have buzzed off.

c) You are already in a relationship.
- If you feel your eyes wandering in a high school relationship, end it. It may be confusing for the other person, but it is not fair to them to be in a one-sided, uncommitted relationship. A relationship is based on commitment. We're in high school. We just learned how to spell commitment. Most people honestly can't handle it. In one way or another, most people will end up cheating. It could be late night texting, dancing, or actually making out with another person. If you feel guilty, you're cheating. Simple. New friends are dangerous. Sometimes you have to choose: Do you want the comfort and commitment of a relationship or the excitement and fun of being single? I know it's a tough question, and it's one everyone faces at one point or another. I think people should experience dating in high school, just for the exposure and to get some street smart. You will not be taken advantage of unless you don't know you're being taken advantage of, if that makes sense. But if you're the kind of person who lives for the chase, don't make promises to anyone, especially anyone who may fall for you (the friend type).

So even though I'm kind of a hypocrite here (New Guy started out as just a friend... Now we're holding hands in public and kissing every now and then [more on that later :]), try not to leading guys on, make them the rebound, or cheat on them. It makes everyone happier that way. :]

Love love love,
M